Your Marriage Differences Are Here to Stay


When Billy and I move things together, inevitably he turns things one way, and I turn the other. He goes clockwise and I go counter-clockwise. He lifts up when I'm ready to set down. He tilts things forward when I want to go backwards.

Not sometimes, but EVERY time.

In fact, we laugh about the consistency of how we interact with the physical world as opposites.  And, although we aren't surprised by this difference in general, in the actual moment we are rarely prepared. Instead, we stumble and bump into things and then talk through which direction we need to move before we EVENTUALLY get our act together.

This isn't a source of marital stress, but it's illustrative of a general marriage principle: we are individuals who will never align perfectly.

I know you're going to want to embroider that on a pillow, but hang with me because even if today's point is obvious, it's also forgettable.

We will always be different.

The goal of marriage shouldn't be to correct or coerce someone into doing things the right your way, but to respect and even celebrate what's unique about the other person.

I find it healthy (and often humbling) to evaluate how well I'm doing by asking my husband if he feels that I appreciate his uniqueness and if I respect our differences.

Perhaps this can be fodder for your next date night as well!

(Photo: my lovely parents who do a great job at this!)