What Can Marriage Really Teach You?
“To be loved but not known is comforting, but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
After 17 years, it’s safe to say my husband fully knows me.
He knows what I’m like in traffic, how I respond to travel delays, and what I do when I feel misunderstood. He’s seen me over-manage our kids, be ruled by the antics of a puppy, and be paralyzed by frustrations at work.
Even when I’ve cleaned up my attitude for the world at large, the petty, self-centered, unvarnished ick of me is in plain view for him to see.
And yet, despite fully knowing me, Billy loves me still. He really does.
I would be less shocked if I didn’t know the truth of me.
17 years ago, when Billy and I were married, I wouldn’t have said this kind of love was what I needed “more than anything.” I would have hedged on Keller’s sentiments.
I didn’t understand how much pretense I needed to shed. I didn’t realize how damaging self-righteousness could be. And I certainly didn’t appreciate what life would be like if Billy had my back.
To be fully loved and truly known you see how marriage can
Liberate, Humble, and Fortify
That’s what I’ve learned over seventeen years being married to Billy.
He makes me a better person, and I couldn't be more grateful.