Speaking Your Spouse's Love Language

"I wish I could visit Susan, I miss her." I made the comment during a family dinner and Billy quickly said,

"You need to go visit her then."

Um. Well, yes. I would love to. Susan lives in Oxford, England.

"Well, you have frequent flier miles. Or sometimes they have last-minute deals..." His voice trailed off.  He was brainstorming ways to make a trip happen, and I openly wondered why.  After all, he was going to be highly inconvenienced by my absense and although I did a little work while I was gone, I could have found a better time.

But Billy felt my itch to get away.  He saw my need to connect, to spend quality time with a friend.  I asked if he really meant it.

"What part of me is insincere?  Travel is your love language, Joy. Let me speak it."*

Three weeks later, I was off, sending home selfies of my journey.


How did it go at home?

Well, most notably, Billy and the kids caught the stomach flu together. And yet I heard nary a complaint.

Clearly, I am not the hero of this story. I am merely the benefactor of having a spouse who knows and serves me well.

Hopefully, you know your spouse's love language (if not, check here) and, more important, make a habit of speaking that language. Think through the five love languages and consider:

Do you prioritize hanging out with your husband if he's a Quality Time guy? When you're running through Target, do you pick up a little Gift for your wife? If your spouse thrives on Words of Affirmation, do you remember to send a text or leave a note saying he's amazing? Do you give your Physical Touch girl the foot rubs she craves? How about doing a weekend project for your Acts of Service mate?


What can you do to love on your spouse today that's not about the way YOU like to be loved, but the way they like to be loved?

Now go for it!

(*Travel isn't an official love language, but maybe it should be!)