3 Reasons Your Marriage Needs Getaways


When I tell people Billy and I are sneaking away for a few days without the kids, I often get curious responses.  I hear comments like...

I wish we could get away, but it's the kids _____ (fill in the blank) season and they have games every weekend. Work is too crazy for me to be away right now. We don't have the money for a trip this year.

I don't know what we would do with the kids.

To be sure, any of these reasons (and a hundred more) can be a legitimate barrier for getting away.  Some seasons of life are so demanding it's difficult to imagine unplugging.  However, if I ask when the couple last got away together, the timing isn't typically counted in months, but in years.

I know how difficult it is to get away. Billy and I both work outside of the home, we have active children and far-flung family, plus we have a dog that steals things from guests.  I feel as though we have to move heaven and earth to get the logistics together.  (More about working out a plan tomorrow.)

Still, there are HUGE rewards for making the effort to be together, just the two of us.  Here's my top three...

1. Re-establishes your marriage as a priority.

When you get away with your spouse, you are communicating to your children, parents, job, and everyone else in your life that your spouse is your first priority.

Work can wait. The kids will be fine. Your chores will be there when you return. The dog can go ahead and dig up the back yard.

Your family starts with your spouse, and the best way to demonstrate that fact is to invest your time with him/her. There is no substitute.

2. Communicates your values to your kids (or nieces, nephews...)

Some day your son or daughter may get married.

How do you show them what they should expect in their marriage? The answer, of course, is to show them!  This requires more than words; it requires intentional actions.  Do you want your kid marrying a workaholic who values achievement more than his or her family?  Then SHOW how you make time to invest in your marriage.  Do you want your kid to understand that your marriage is secure and they can trust that mom and dad love each other?  Then DO something tangible as a couple.

After all, the best gift you can give your kids is a strong marriage.

3. Builds memories together.

Canary Islands
Canary Islands

On our recent trip, Billy and I went to a restaurant and were reviewing the menu.  When the owner came to our table, presumably to take our order, we started to point out what we wanted.  She waved us off  - “No, No.”   Like we were ordering all wrong.  She motioned for us to follow her and then led us back to the kitchen.  She started describing the fresh fish (in Spanish and we “no habla”) and pick from what we saw.

Oh – ok. 

We pointed to what we wanted and had one of the best meals of our lives!  Super fun.

Now have an ongoing joke about whether the menus “work” or whether we should just go back to the kitchen and pick out our own food.  The occasional nod to this experience is only funny to us, and we’ll laugh together for a long time.

Laughs, adventures, moments, stories happen when you get away.

What stories do you want to tell with your marriage?

Are you too busy to invest in your spouse?


I hope you enjoyed this "re-post" because Billy and I are currently on another sneak-away so the next couple of days will be "the best of..."